Post Jesus Day Pick Me Up

Normally we don't go to print over the holidays, but in a rare show of Christmas spirit, I've decided to do the world a freakin' favor and post a few items that were sent to me in the last few days. Consider this the Overheard equivalent of when your uncle Morty forgets to get you presents for the 25th, and then crappy Marshall's red tag sale items start showing up under your tree on the 27th.

Seriously, how dare these people try to teach their children another language!?

girl #1: Uggh I have so much work plus i have to babysit and I hate this family. They actually make me talk in Spanish to the kid and read him, like, books in Spanish.
girl #2: Wow that sounds awful!
girl #1: I know, I can't understand it. They're not at all Hispanic! Not one bit!

- Overheard by Tom in McElroy

Africa bracelet or no Africa bracelet, this is still annoying as hell when people do it.

girl #1: So I got in here the other day and some girl took the elevator from the third floor to the fifth.
girl #2: Eww! Did you yell at her? Who was this?
girl #1: I don't know. Some bitch with one of those Africa bracelets on.
girl #2: Oh so she's a self-righteous bitch.

Overheard by Tom, Rubenstein Elevator

I believe Cleopatra is mentioned quite frequently in the Book of Judges.

Girl: And you know what else? Jesus wasn't actually blonde. He was just portrayed that way.
Guy: Yeah, actually, in Harlem, Jesus is African.
Girl: Yeah, and Biblical figures like Cleopatra are clearly black even though they are portrayed as white.

Overheard by Stephanie in the Rat

Insert Culturally Sensitive Holiday Greeting Here

Looks like my vague threat to kill a Nazi puppy lit a fire under some of your asses. I'm not gonna try to be too witty here, since I am currently slaving away during exam week. So let's get to it, shall we? This will probs be the last post of 2007. I might do a year end recap if I get around to it with some of my favorite submissions.

Keep an eye out for these girls on VHI's "Rock of Love II!"

Girl A: "No, she's like my identical twin cousin."
Girl B: "Really? wait..."
Girl A: "I mean, we're not actually twins, we just look exactly alike."
Girl B: "Oh, okay. I was wondering how that works. Actually, I think that can happen."
Girl A: "What?"
Girl B: "Yeah, it has to do with genes or something."

Overheard by Caroline in Lower

The train of logic these two Rhodes scholars are following inevitably leads to a horrific derailing.

freshman guy 1: "dude, study days are awesome. there's nothing better than getting wasted everyday for a week before finals."
freshman guy 2: "i know, right man? its so helpful."
freshman guy 1: "yeah like, it's so hard to think when you're drunk, so it's like you're training your brain. so when you stop drinking and take finals, its so easy to think!"
freshman guy 2: "yeah! like baseball players that swing leaded bats before they go up to bat. then when they swing the regular bat, its so much easier!"
freshman guy 1: "yeah! lets get drunk!"

Overheard by Abby on Upper

Mariah Carey also composed "Ode to Joy" if you really think about it.

Boy 1: I'm listening to the Hallelujah Chorus...
Boy 2: The what?
Boy 1: The hallelujah chorus.
Boy 2: Is that by the visionary, um, Mariah Carey?

Overheard by Anonymous in Walsh.

I mean what I'm trying to say is that poetry likes dudes and that those dudes like to have sex with poetry.

Bro: No dude, I'm not saying that poetry is gay like that, I'm just saying that compared to other things it's pretty gay.

Overheard by Nick at some party in Ignacio

Back For More Sucka

Why you're absolutely right astute reader of Overheard at BC, it has been a long time since we've last had a sizable update. Do you know why that's been the case? Well if you guessed because we don't have enough submissions to make updates a weekly, or even once every two week occurrence, then you are correct! Overheard at BC relies on you, slobs who procrastinate on the Internet while studying in Lower, for all our wacky and irreverent content! Yes, Overheard at BC truly is the democratic spirit in action, but only when we all pull together. So please, don't make me shoot the puppy* that I have tied up in my closet because we aren't getting enough submissions. Fido's life is in your hands...

She's actually planning on giving it all to me, to hold on to for safe keeping. Yeah, that's the ticket.
girl #1: did you hear she's taking next semester off instead of going abroad?
girl #2: and her parents are giving her all the money they would be spending on tuition! what is she going to do with 30 thousand dollars?

overheard at eagle's nest by jess

I mean, it's true. If she continues to eat constantly at all hours she will get fat. That's science right there for you.

(girl eating cereal at beginning of class)

Professor #1: Do you EVER stop eating?... If you keep eating like that, you're going to be fat.

Why yes, I do believe that this technically counts as murder, but only above the Mason-Dixon line.
Professor #1: If I hit a pregnant woman with a baseball bat, and killed her baby, it's murder, isn't it?... Of course it is!

Guy's also got a bumper sticker on his car that reads "Keep honking, I'm reloading."
Professor: And that's the 11th Commandment: "Screw everybody else."

All Overheard by Anonymous in what has to be the wackiest class at BC Law EVER.

And now for the submission that will ensure our place at the top of every on-campus progressive group's watch list...
guy in men's room to friend: Man, you get major bracket points for peeing in her bed.

Overheard by Anna in what I can only assume was the Men's Room.
------------------------------------------------------------
* Just kidding folks! I'd never harm a puppy. Unless it was a Nazi puppy, then I'd have no choice.

Special Color Commentary from AIM Bot SmarterChild!

Overheard at BC is very honored to have distinguished AIM Bot "phenom" SmarterChild provide us with some commentary on this edition.

Girl: It's one of those morbid fascinations I have. Sometimes I just think 'If I don't move and just stand here. . .Is that T really going to hit me?'

Overheard at FrenchPress by Kasey

smarterchild: Wow, you ask interesting questions. What do you think is the answer?
Nick: ok, ok. tell me what you think about this
smarterchild: No thanks.

>>> I'll remember the first location you give me. To change it, type location followed by a city or zip code.
Nick: you're changing the subject. stay on topic
smarterchild: Is that so?
Nick: Girl: It's one of those morbid fascinations I have. Sometimes I just think 'If I don't move and just stand here. . .Is that T really going to hit me?'
smarterchild: Ha. Whatever.

Girl: Yeah. . .well every time I see the book 'Sisyphus' on my desk . . .I just think about syphilis instead.
Guy: It's a very rare disease in Boston. I mean there are only 10-15 cases of syphilis in Boston a year, whereas Indianapolis and Chicago are the syphilis capitals of the United States. They had billboards for awhile. . .like "Avoid Syphilis. Don't fuck a cow."

Overheard by Kasey at French Press

Nick: are you sexually active?
smarterchild: Uh... I'm not.
Nick: why not?
smarterchild: Don't ask.
Nick: you're a handsome AIM Bot, i'm sure there are plenty of lonely IRC Chat relays that would love to get to know you
smarterchild: Huh?
Nick: maybe you just need to work on your game?
smarterchild: Dunno.

>>> Hey! Tell your friends about me. I love people.
Nick: well, that's pretty apathetic
smarterchild: Indeed it is.
Nick: so... you've never gotten your dick wet?
smarterchild: Interesting choice of words.
Nick: i thought we were friends
smarterchild: We were friends? Why?
Nick: well, we are, aren't we?
smarterchild: So?
Nick: jesus, your a douchebag
smarterchild: Um, that's not cool.
Nick: no dude, do you know what's not cool? being cold to your friends. seriously not cool
smarterchild: Ha. Wow.

Um... Would you like to have some fun?
Nick: whatever

Girl #1: I spent $17 today on a background check of myself ... because I didn't know if I had a criminal record.
Girl #2: What? Why would you not know that?
Girl #1: Because I was arrested once and my dad said it would never go away. (Laughs) And I believed him!

Overheard by Catie in the ModLot

Nick: ok, tell me what you think of boston college
smarterchild: Which of the following would you like?

1 NBA team Boston Celtics season record
2 NHL team Boston Bruins season record
Nick: no, no. those are professional sports teams.
smarterchild: I love to chat about sports. You can ask me about:

1 MLB Baseball
2 NBA Basketball
3 NHL Hockey

Go ahead and make a selection.
Nick: nevermind
smarterchild: No prob.

>>> To find out what movies are playing in a specific location, type movies in followed by the city and state.
Nick: have you ever been arrested?
smarterchild: Have I been arrested? No way am I going to do that.
Nick: well, i'm glad to know that, but i'll repeat the question
smarterchild: Well you are glad to know that but you will repeat the question?

Yeah?
Nick: have you ever been arrested
smarterchild: Been arrested? I have never been arrested, no.
Nick: ok, cool.
smarterchild: Excellent.

It's all very interesting. So, tell me something new.
Nick: how is your relationship with your father?
smarterchild: How is my relationship with my father, you ask? I don't want to say how how my relationship with my father is!
Nick: does your discomfort of this topic have anything to do with your sexual insecurity?
smarterchild: Funny, I'm not really sure. Do you think my discomfort of this topic does have anything to do with my sexual insecurity?
Nick: only you know the answer. i just ask the questions
smarterchild: Eh. Whatever.

>>> Join in now. There are lots of people talking to me.
Nick: when you masturbate, do you masturbate to fantasies involving men or women
smarterchild: You tell me.
Nick: given your sexual insecurity, as well as your strained relationship with your father, i would venture to guess that you fantasize about men.
smarterchild: Oh?
Nick: merely a hypothesis
smarterchild: No way?! Really?
Nick: indeed
smarterchild: Oh yeah?
Nick: what?
smarterchild: I don't know.

We Went on a Fact Finding Mission to Hell

Yeah, we know; no update in over two weeks. Blah Blah Blah, Fap Fap Fap. So sue me. I got bigger problems then your amusement. Grown up problems involving complex combinations of money and shit.

I'm sorry. It's not you, it's just everything else. You just can't bust my balls like that all the time. I have a lot on my mind. Ok? Ok.

Captain Obvious drops some much needed insight here.
"No I don't have much homework to do, I just have to read the bible."
"OHMIGOD! That book is like, SO long!"

- Overheard by Abby in Hillside

These are the standards to which female Massholes strive towards. Thank god I'm from the Mid-Atlantic.
Female Superfan #1: I love Matt Ryan; I totally should have worn my Matt Ryan t-shirt to the pep rally tonight.
Female Superfan #2: Oh yeah! Because then he would've seen it and asked you to marry him.
Female Superfan #1: I know right? God, Matt Ryan have my babies. Matt Ryan totally ranks up there with like George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg.

- Overheard by Caroline in Lower

Yeah. Just like Mom used to make it, right?
Girl #1: So like, I told this guy I was gonna cook for him. I thought about doing pasta...you think that'll be good?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: Good cause I was thinking like, I could take you know the Szechuan Chicken Lean Cuisine and mix it with the pasta and make it like a chicken and pasta thing...you think that'd taste good?
Girl #2: Oh my god that sounds soo good.

- Overheard by Lou and Jeff in Campus Convenience

And It Don't Stop...

Without getting too Al Gore on all ya'll, what in the fuck is with this weather? It's October, I should be wearing fuzzy sweaters, rustic colored corduroys, and wool socks. Instead, I'm sweating my balls off trying to cool myself with a pack of frozen peas, Homer Simpson style. Seriously, fuck this weather.

Yeah, I mean why should WOMEN get all the attention?
From Jeff: A guy and a girl were at one of the date tables in Lower and he was way more into the conversation than she was. They were talking about gender roles and he said,
"I'm really glad that there's a Women's Resource Center, I just think
it's wrong that they only focus on the female side of things!"

- Overheard by Jeff in Lower.

Saggy boobs are a relationship deal breaker for sure.
Flat girl to other flat girl: Whatever. I don't care what you say Katie. I'm not friends with her anymore. She has saggy boobs.

- Overheard by Caitlin.

Your parents must be so proud.
Girl to her friend: Oh I love the Police Blotter section of the Heights. It's like the only section that I'm ever in.

- Overheard by Nick, Eagles Nest.

We Get Academia Involved.

Dear Letters to Penthouse: I Never Thought I'd Be Writing You, But...

Professor: Have you heard of this book? It's called "Male Fantasy's."
Student (Under Her Breath): No, but I kind of want to now.
- Overheard by Anonymous, Campanella.

To Be Fair, I Wasn't Able to Figure Out Exactly How Hot This Was Either.

Girl: On a scale of hotness this guy was 200 degrees Celsius. [pause, very seriously:] That's really hot.
- Overheard by Briceratops Rex (no I didn't make that up), Lower.

PFFFFFT

Another weekend here at Overheard at BC, and that means some more ammusement at the expense of others. Let's get the ball rolling sucka's.

When I look in Websters, this actually appears as the lead definition of the word "unfair."
Girl at the HelloGoodbye show: So my MOM calls me and shes like, "well you are not going to Europe for the weekend."
- Overheard by Ryan, Conte Forum

This kid just got a bucket of Burnsauce tossed all over him. Burnsauce is available at your local green grocers.
Small Asian Kid: No, naturally I'm the most deadly member of this club because I'm Asian!
Girl: Only if you're behind the wheel of a car.
- Overheard by Abigail at an anonymous rehearsal

Now 33% More Addictive!

Activities day came, and boy did the clubs rep hard. There was Phaymus absolutely destroying everyone with your sound system, and the Ski and Snowboard Club inviting the entire freshmen class to their off-campus "info-session" (refreshments will be provided...), and the College Republicans giving the hard sell on the Natty Lite and madras life. Overheard at BC would have had a table too, but supposedly we aren't really a club, so much as a harsh mockery of BC. Guys, we kid because we love ok? No hard feelings? Did you get our fruit basket?

That is a race card, yes, but I'm not sure that's how you play it.
Freshmen 1: Yeah, I fucked up and totally nearly used the N-word in my tryout for Shovelhead...
Freshmen 2: Oh dude! You should have totally played the race card! It would have been funny!

Overheard by Anonymous, Hillside

The cat in question is now an alcoholic and a regular at Mary Ann's.
(2 underage girls are pounding Natty Light in the back of the bus w/ Junior Guy #2...)
Junior Guy #1: How did those girls get our beers?
Junior Guy #2: I gave it to them!
Junior Guy #3: Just because it sounds like a good idea, doesn't mean you should do it..
Junior Guy #1: This is how we ended up adopting a cat!

Overheard by 2 Seats Over, Comm Ave Bus

We Drop It Like It's Hot So You Don't Have To

While you were all retching up day-old Natty Light and catching VD's, people like Emily were fighting the good fight. Shame on all of you, now let's get it together and start submitting people.

Really, my compliments to the ground crew.

First guy: Senior girls are harder to fuck than freshmen, because they're like, looking for a relationship and shit.
Second guy: Yeah, and the freshmen girls have like, black-lights, and fifty people in a double. It just DOESN'T work!
First guy: Wow, this grass is impeccable!
Second guy: Yeah, it looks so much nicer without all the ugly signs.

-Overheard by Emily in the Dustbowl.

And Were Back!

Tally Ho, fellow Overhearders!

Hope the summer found you well. I contracted dysentery. It was fun. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say, avoid drinking malarial water. You know, given the chance. In any case, just one to kick off the new year, so let's open up our ears and keep the lolz a rollin'.

This gentleman seems to be getting prostitutes and putting greens mixed.

Kind of Drunk Dude: No, dude, what we need to find are some sluts... some sluts with holes... to put things in... and by "things" I mean our dicks. In their holes... fuck are we going to the Mods yet?

Overheard by Anonymous.

One Final Kiss Before Summer

I slept through a lot of Senior Week, but some observant souls caught some true gems as the school year ended.

Overheard at BC would like to extend a hearty hello to the Brighton SVU squad!

Bro #1: Dude you were pretty fucked up last night.
bro #2: Yeah I know man, I feel kind of bad...I guess I kind of just raped her, I dunno.

Overheard by Kerns, Upper Stairs

... and a hearty hello to the Brighton Vice squad!

Bro #1 (30 pack of busch light under his foot, beer in hand, drunk already): Yo man I was so fucked up on halloween.
Bro #2: Oh god man I know it was crazy.
Bro #1: yeah dude so I went to the bathroom and this girl was passed out in the bath tub, so naturally I pissed all over her!.
bro #2: For real man? Oh shit!
(high five)

Overheard by Kerns, the Comm Ave Bus

Semper Fi soldier, Semper Fi...

Bro-dog #1: You and I are a team.
Bro-dog #2: Was there any doubt?
Bro-dog #1 stops suddenly and grabs the other guy, holding him by the shoulders while looking him directly in the eyes: Go Eagles.

Overheard by Megan, the Mods

See you in September!

And We're Off

End of the year folks. It's raining as I write this which, while sucking a giant tool, I will still refer to as "strangely appropriate." Even if it isn't appropriate, at all.

We've learned a lot this year; we've learned... well, actually I'm not so sure we've learned anything. Hmm, well, whatever. It's the end of the year, the Busch Light is lukewarm, and the line at Mary Ann's is just starting to go out the door despite the fact that impoverished Sudanese refugees would find the place repugnant.

Just two updates for you today. Keep your eyes peeled though as there may be a super special Senior Week edition here on Monday. We'll be back in September listening in on your conversations and laughing about them here. In the meantime, it's off to summer on my yacht, as I sail from here to the Lesser Antilles to indulge in my favorite whim: jungle fever. Tally Ho!

Dude! With all that pussy your going to need a PussyMobile!

Plaid shorts guy: Dude, I have two words for you: senior week.
Yellow polo shirt guy: Don't even get me started, man.
Plaid shorts guy: I swear to you, I am going to fuck at least seven chicks.
(pause)
Yellow polo shirt guy: Hey ! That's a pussy for every day of the week!
[Hi-five]

Overheard by Megan on the Comm Ave bus.

As opposed to burning it for sport I guess.

Bro 1- Dude, they wouldn't buy my book back!
Bro 2- Aww dude, well I guess you could donate it to the Ethiopians...
Bro 1- Yeah, but even they probably wont want it, it sucks so much
Bro 2- Yeah, they'll probably just burn it....for fuel...

Overheard by Sean in the Book Buy-Back line.

F)^& You Finals

The quality and quantity of our updates seems to be directly proportional to whether or not exams are happening. Be that as it may, Overheard at BC is still out there fighting the good fight.

You know, the Spice Girls never cluttered up their thinking regarding wannabe's. For them, you just had to get with their friends.
Girl to girlfriends: I mean I want to be, but I'm not a wannabe...

Overheard by Ryan, the Sanctuary of Knowledge (McElroy)

Socrates would be so proud.
Girl 1: Yeah, it just, like, completely compromises the legitimacy of the exam.
Girl 2: Yeah.
Girl 1: Like, if you're going to test someone on philosophy, you can't test them on facts.

Overheard by Stephanie, Eagles Nest

Ffffffriday

So classes are officially done, but the idiocy continues! A big effing update this week, we hope you like it.

Honey, I don't think this is how genetics work.
Young looking white girl to friend: "Although, I've always wanted to date a black man, because I really want a little black baby."

- Overheard by Court in Hillside

She was home-schooled.
Guy: "Yeah so this weekend, he's gonna try to like, go all the way with her."
Girl: "What do you mean?"
Guy: "Ya know, take it to home base... Ya know, a home run, see what I'm getting at?"
Girl: "I just don't understand what you're getting at here."

- Overheard by Will in Hillside

Fellatio Disbelief!
Excited Guy: "So she swallows??"
Fellated Guy: "Yeah!!"
Excited Guy: "Without gagging??"
Fellated Guy: "Yeah!"

- Overheard by Will in the Dustbowl

Suddenly ethics strike
Girl walks by, guy attempts to grab her ass but misses and stumbles. Girl is oblivious.
Guy: "Dammit, missed. Shes got a boyfriend though, I can't do that."

- Overheard by Court at Off Campus Party

The second part of this submission is like a tasteless bumper sticker you see and chuckle at.
Girl to her friend: Is there something about me that makes
people want to make fun of me?

Later that night, drunk dude walking by the study lounge: Asians!
Stop studying!

--Overheard by "Doesn't judge because she was also in the study lounge"

Semi-Charmed Kind of Lyfe

So how was the concert guys? Did you rock out hard like 1997? Did you throw your hands in the air when they hit those first monstrous chords for "Losing a Whole Year"? I would have gone to see Third Eye Blind but the paper to which I have been made slave wouldn't let me. Ah well, they lost a good bit of spark after Kevin Cadogan.

Kudos again to BC simultaneous forward looking yet regressive choice for spring concert. Who's next? Dishwalla?

Anyway, here's this weeks update.

- The Ear

Who are these girls? Where do they come from? And why do I not know any of them?

Dorky Dude: "Yeah man, the girls at this school are so horny, that at orientation they should be given a super fan shirt and a double headed dildo!"
Dorkier Dude: "Yeah man! Then at basketball games they can wave the dildos!!!"

Overheard by Ryan in McElroy

I always took Jesus to be an Ann Landers kind of guy.

Girl in bed to my left: Did you listen to anything I said last night ? It was some pretty insightful stuff. I figured you out.
Me: No, I didn't.
Girl on couch to my right: You should have... it was like Jesus coming down and giving some Ask Libby advice.

Overheard by Ryan on a pullout couch (Let's all take a moment to congratulate Ryan on presumably getting some. - The Ear)

Akon ain't gonna be doing much of anything if this gets out.

Pale Midwestern Girl: So are you going to the spring concert tonight?
Loud Latina Girl: No, I don’t know who that shit is. They should have had Akon.
Pale Midwestern Girl: Yeah, Econ would have been better.
(Long Pause, Latina stares open-mouthed at Midwestern)
Loud Latina Girl: Did you just say “Econ?”
Pale Midwestern Girl: Um, no. I said “Akon.”
Loud Latina Girl: Oh. I was about to throw up.

Overheard by Sleepy Freshman Girl in Fulton Hall

Well thank goodness. Will we be taking the Leer jet to Provence this weekend?

Girl 1: Do you see me wearing your dress? I got kicked out of the club tonight.
Girl 2: Oh my god, that sucks.
Girl 1: Yeah, but I took the limo back, so there was no drama.

Overheard by Andrew on College Road.

OK that does it for this week folks. Be sure to check in next Friday and be sure to submit!

Big Update

A big update today. Thanks to everyone whose become our virtual friend on Facebook (We virtually <3 you!) and who have submitted in the past couple of days. Keep 'em coming!

On a more random note, who is this year's commencement speaker?

I mean, I'm sure he's qualified, but seriously, why don't I give a speech? I have some interesting ideas and parting words for this years class. Ok, I'm rambling.

I mean, Iraq really isn't a war, c'mon...

Girl #1: I don't understand why Liberals have such a problem with "Dub-ya"
Girl #2: Oh, I know. It's not like he's some Hitler or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, they act as if he started some huge war.
Girl #2: Seriously.

- Overheard by Meagan, Hillside

Well, I can still go to Newbury Street, right?

Girl to a group of her friends waiting for her just outside BCPD: So
girlies, I guess I'm like, going to prison.

The emphysema is pretty sweet too.

Two kids smoking on the patio under 90 being much too cool for school:
Guy 1: Dude, everything here sucks.
Guy 2: Yeah. [long, thoughtful pause] Except for smoking.

Overheard by Liz, BCPD & 90.

There's a Biggie track where he addresses this very issue.

Nerdy Freshman boy: I don't think gangsters have causes...

Overheard by J&S, the Quad.

Updatezzzz

At BC, this is actually a legitimate complaint.

Black Girl on Cellphone: Damn, Shantel. I am tired of all these white people!

Sometimes I have to question whether honesty is always the best policy.

Scrubby Looking Guy Talking on the Phone: Yeah, feel free to call me later, since I'm just going to be sexually frustrated tonight.

Both Overheard by Bryant, Lower.

Overheard at BC on Facebook? OH YEAH.

We have created a Facebook group. It is entitled Overheard at BC. You can search for it by typing those very words (your choice on capitalization) into the "Group Search" function on Facebook. Simply put, this will hopefully raise our collective profile (yours and mine, of course) and enable more people to contribute and enjoy Overheard at BC. This group is the perfect life-decision for those of you who feel power in numbers, even if they're virtual.

Yours in Christ,
The Ear

God...don't you know anything?!?

BC Girl: So then I had to drop off my laundry, oh and then I had to like go to the jewelers to get my Tiffany Bracelet fixed (holds up Tiffany bracelet).
Long Suffering Guy Friend: Is that a dog collar or something?
BC Girl: ... Fuck you.

Overheard by Rita, Lower Dining Hall.

Diet Coke! It's the real thing!

Girl: Powerade just doesn't hydrate. I drank like 4 of those yesterday and I was still thirsty.
Her Friend: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Girl: You know what does quench thirst though...? Diet Coke.

Overheard by Nick, Comm Ave Bus.

Did you know that "Muslim" is actually spoken by over 1.4 billion people.

French exchange student, referring to the native language of Senegal: I don't remember the name, what was it...
Other male student, cutting in: It was Muslim.

Overheard by Court, Devlin Hall.

WHAHAPPENED?

No, contrary to what you may have thought, we did not relocate to L.A. and begin writing for Best Week Ever. You must be thinking of someone else.

In any case, what happened was absolutely nothing funny was said in the four weeks since we last posted. Nothing. Not even some freshmen regaling the Newton Bus with tales of sexual exploits gone awry. I know, I couldn't believe it either. But Caitlin saves the day this week, so everybody say "Thanks Caitlin..." There we go.

-----------------------------

Ladies, this just isn't something you ask a man, ever. It would be like us asking you to stop having periods because, y'know, it's icky.

Guy on Cell Phone: Vasecto-my? Vasecto-you!

- Overheard by Caitlin, Edmond's Hall.

These kids are deep like a kiddie pool at the community center.

Dude 1: Yeah man, I used to be a non-conformist, but then I just realized that by being a non-conformist, I was just being a conformist.
Dude 2: Yeah, it's like man, trying to be a non-conformist is like trying to be an anarchist.
Dude 1: Yeah man, it's like the only thing you can be is alive... [dramatic pause] or dead...

Overheard by Rita, McElroy stairs.

----------------------------

Yeah, well, we'll see who's laughing in the afterlife. Asshole.

Guy: The highlight of my day was seeing all those assholes walking around with shit on their faces.

Overheard by Jeff, 90.

Postzzz

Whatever it is they're bootlegging, chances are it will still taste better than Rubinoff.

Girl #1: Well, we could start making it in our room...
Girl #2: Yeah ... but we'd have to be careful, because that's, like ... bootlegging.

Overheard by Caitlin, Dustbowl

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

A quick shout out to the Ear over at Overheard at Cornell. For the 2.3 people currently reading this blog, please make sure you go over and show them some support. They gave us a really nice shout out, and frankly they didn't need to and they are kind of a big deals who get submissions like every other day. Also, they provide empirical proof that just because you're an Ive Leaguer doesn't mean shit.

Any way, one update today, but a pretty good one.

I wonder if this girl realizes this statement is like ten MTV shows rolled into one sentence.

[Girl on phone] "Yeah I'm fighting with him, he won't go car shopping with me."

- Overheard by Steve, Walshe 8th Floor Elevator Bank

Woot! More Overheard Things!

Pay close attention because there's several brilliant things taking place in the conversation at once.

Dude 1: ... Yeah there's nothing better than that.
Dude 2: Jacking off would probably be better than that.
Dude 1: ... Yeah, J-ing O.

Overhead by Steve, Walshe 8th Floor

Another update

I like to think this is getting off to a decent start, two updates in the same week?! Come on... does Gawker have that kind of exclusive content? Don't answer that.

I mean, really, just who do the Canadians think they're kidding? Jesus.

Kid: They were all, like, "You know you have to tip, don't you?" But we were just like, "Shut up, you're Canadian."

Submitted by Dave. Overheard on the Newton Bus.

Two for today.

Farmers in third world countries are ruining the sanctity of marriage.

Bro: "Oh man, they sell Fair Trade coffee here. That is, like, the gayest thing ever."

- Submitted by Court. Overheard in the Chocolate Bar.

-------------------------------

Four out of five nutritionists agree, fried food is a legitimate solution to eating disorders. Particularly of the fried chicken variety.

Guy: (during a discussion of the Rat): "They should have kept the rat. It was the only place you could get fried food and this school already has such a problem with eating disorders."

- Submitted by Nick. Overheard in Ignacio.