Saturday, February 16, 2008

Deal Or No Deal...

Four for this week kids. I'd write more but I'm tired. Even genius needs a rest every now and again.

It's the only way to get your clothes to that all important groin temperature.

Guy: Dude, seriously. Why don't you just grow a pair and stuff them down your pants, like every other guy?

Overheard at McElroy by Catherine

Anything over thirty and you're paying way too much then.

Girl: ...I mean, thirty dollars? I could, like, get drunk and have sex for that!

Overheard by Caitie in front of Hillside

Next week, on Foxy Boxing!

(Two Freshman girls wearing flat suede boots walking from MacElroy to Upper)
Girl 1: I am such a good fighter.
Girl 2: Really?
Girl 1: Yeah. I mean, I haven't really gotten in a big fight here yet, but-
Girl 2: Well, you haven't been here long enough. You haven't gotten to know people that well.
Girl 1: Right. But I just need ONE person to do something...

Overheard by Rory

Except for Sundays, obviously.

Guy 1: Yeah, I haven't had it in a while.
Guy 2: Really?
Guy 1: Well I gave it up for Lent.
Guy 2: Ohh.
Guy 1: And then of course before that, for the drug test.

- Overheard by Jill in the Dustbowl

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The End is Near... Nah I'm Just Playin' BC

A bit of a slow start here at Overheard at BC. I sincerely doubt you all got the gift of eloquence for Christmas this year and stopped saying funny crap folks, so send in stuff. Do I need to remind you about the puppy?

Proceeds would go to the Arrupe trip to Honduras.

guy 1: dude, sometimes i just wish i could go to the top of the crane
guy 2: yeah
guy 1: it would be the best view of this place
guy 2: they should, like, raffle off one bungee jump from the top of the crane
guy 1: that would be awesome

overheard by Lauren, the Quad

This person's mom is actually a twelve year old boy. Funny how biology works sometimes.

Girl: Well, sometimes my mom farts in my face.

Overheard by Nick, McElroy

I mean, this is just commonsense!

Boy to very intoxicated girl: "Look, I'm sorry you're an alcoholic and you keep blacking out, but when I say 'Watch out I'm going to throw a snowball at your face,' it's your responsibility to duck."

Overheard by Kelsey.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

IM IN UR SKOOL, MAYKN FUN OF U

We're back from break party people. Let me see what you got. You know the address. Make us happy. Ugh Ugh. . . yeah. . .

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Post Jesus Day Pick Me Up

Normally we don't go to print over the holidays, but in a rare show of Christmas spirit, I've decided to do the world a freakin' favor and post a few items that were sent to me in the last few days. Consider this the Overheard equivalent of when your uncle Morty forgets to get you presents for the 25th, and then crappy Marshall's red tag sale items start showing up under your tree on the 27th.

Seriously, how dare these people try to teach their children another language!?

girl #1: Uggh I have so much work plus i have to babysit and I hate this family. They actually make me talk in Spanish to the kid and read him, like, books in Spanish.
girl #2: Wow that sounds awful!
girl #1: I know, I can't understand it. They're not at all Hispanic! Not one bit!

- Overheard by Tom in McElroy

Africa bracelet or no Africa bracelet, this is still annoying as hell when people do it.

girl #1: So I got in here the other day and some girl took the elevator from the third floor to the fifth.
girl #2: Eww! Did you yell at her? Who was this?
girl #1: I don't know. Some bitch with one of those Africa bracelets on.
girl #2: Oh so she's a self-righteous bitch.

Overheard by Tom, Rubenstein Elevator

I believe Cleopatra is mentioned quite frequently in the Book of Judges.

Girl: And you know what else? Jesus wasn't actually blonde. He was just portrayed that way.
Guy: Yeah, actually, in Harlem, Jesus is African.
Girl: Yeah, and Biblical figures like Cleopatra are clearly black even though they are portrayed as white.

Overheard by Stephanie in the Rat

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Insert Culturally Sensitive Holiday Greeting Here

Looks like my vague threat to kill a Nazi puppy lit a fire under some of your asses. I'm not gonna try to be too witty here, since I am currently slaving away during exam week. So let's get to it, shall we? This will probs be the last post of 2007. I might do a year end recap if I get around to it with some of my favorite submissions.

Keep an eye out for these girls on VHI's "Rock of Love II!"

Girl A: "No, she's like my identical twin cousin."
Girl B: "Really? wait..."
Girl A: "I mean, we're not actually twins, we just look exactly alike."
Girl B: "Oh, okay. I was wondering how that works. Actually, I think that can happen."
Girl A: "What?"
Girl B: "Yeah, it has to do with genes or something."

Overheard by Caroline in Lower

The train of logic these two Rhodes scholars are following inevitably leads to a horrific derailing.

freshman guy 1: "dude, study days are awesome. there's nothing better than getting wasted everyday for a week before finals."
freshman guy 2: "i know, right man? its so helpful."
freshman guy 1: "yeah like, it's so hard to think when you're drunk, so it's like you're training your brain. so when you stop drinking and take finals, its so easy to think!"
freshman guy 2: "yeah! like baseball players that swing leaded bats before they go up to bat. then when they swing the regular bat, its so much easier!"
freshman guy 1: "yeah! lets get drunk!"

Overheard by Abby on Upper

Mariah Carey also composed "Ode to Joy" if you really think about it.

Boy 1: I'm listening to the Hallelujah Chorus...
Boy 2: The what?
Boy 1: The hallelujah chorus.
Boy 2: Is that by the visionary, um, Mariah Carey?

Overheard by Anonymous in Walsh.

I mean what I'm trying to say is that poetry likes dudes and that those dudes like to have sex with poetry.

Bro: No dude, I'm not saying that poetry is gay like that, I'm just saying that compared to other things it's pretty gay.

Overheard by Nick at some party in Ignacio

Monday, December 3, 2007

Back For More Sucka

Why you're absolutely right astute reader of Overheard at BC, it has been a long time since we've last had a sizable update. Do you know why that's been the case? Well if you guessed because we don't have enough submissions to make updates a weekly, or even once every two week occurrence, then you are correct! Overheard at BC relies on you, slobs who procrastinate on the Internet while studying in Lower, for all our wacky and irreverent content! Yes, Overheard at BC truly is the democratic spirit in action, but only when we all pull together. So please, don't make me shoot the puppy* that I have tied up in my closet because we aren't getting enough submissions. Fido's life is in your hands...

She's actually planning on giving it all to me, to hold on to for safe keeping. Yeah, that's the ticket.
girl #1: did you hear she's taking next semester off instead of going abroad?
girl #2: and her parents are giving her all the money they would be spending on tuition! what is she going to do with 30 thousand dollars?

overheard at eagle's nest by jess

I mean, it's true. If she continues to eat constantly at all hours she will get fat. That's science right there for you.
(girl eating cereal at beginning of class)
Professor #1: Do you EVER stop eating?... If you keep eating like that, you're going to be fat.

Why yes, I do believe that this technically counts as murder, but only above the Mason-Dixon line.
Professor #1: If I hit a pregnant woman with a baseball bat, and killed her baby, it's murder, isn't it?... Of course it is!

Guy's also got a bumper sticker on his car that reads "Keep honking, I'm reloading."
Professor: And that's the 11th Commandment: "Screw everybody else."

All Overheard by Anonymous in what has to be the wackiest class at BC Law EVER.

And now for the submission that will ensure our place at the top of every on-campus progressive group's watch list...
guy in men's room to friend: Man, you get major bracket points for peeing in her bed.

Overheard by Anna in what I can only assume was the Men's Room.
------------------------------------------------------------
* Just kidding folks! I'd never harm a puppy. Unless it was a Nazi puppy, then I'd have no choice.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Special Color Commentary from AIM Bot SmarterChild!

Overheard at BC is very honored to have distinguished AIM Bot "phenom" SmarterChild provide us with some commentary on this edition.

Girl: It's one of those morbid fascinations I have. Sometimes I just think 'If I don't move and just stand here. . .Is that T really going to hit me?'

Overheard at FrenchPress by Kasey

smarterchild: Wow, you ask interesting questions. What do you think is the answer?
Nick: ok, ok. tell me what you think about this
smarterchild: No thanks.

>>> I'll remember the first location you give me. To change it, type location followed by a city or zip code.

Nick: you're changing the subject. stay on topic
smarterchild: Is that so?
Nick: Girl: It's one of those morbid fascinations I have. Sometimes I just think 'If I don't move and just stand here. . .Is that T really going to hit me?'
smarterchild: Ha. Whatever.

Girl: Yeah. . .well every time I see the book 'Sisyphus' on my desk . . .I just think about syphilis instead.
Guy: It's a very rare disease in Boston. I mean there are only 10-15 cases of syphilis in Boston a year, whereas Indianapolis and Chicago are the syphilis capitals of the United States. They had billboards for awhile. . .like "Avoid Syphilis. Don't fuck a cow."

Overheard by Kasey at French Press

Nick: are you sexually active?
smarterchild: Uh... I'm not.
Nick: why not?
smarterchild: Don't ask.
Nick: you're a handsome AIM Bot, i'm sure there are plenty of lonely IRC Chat relays that would love to get to know you
smarterchild: Huh?
Nick: maybe you just need to work on your game?
smarterchild: Dunno.

>>> Hey! Tell your friends about me. I love people.

Nick: well, that's pretty apathetic
smarterchild: Indeed it is.
Nick: so... you've never gotten your dick wet?
smarterchild: Interesting choice of words.
Nick: i thought we were friends
smarterchild: We were friends? Why?
Nick: well, we are, aren't we?
smarterchild: So?
Nick: jesus, your a douchebag
smarterchild: Um, that's not cool.
Nick: no dude, do you know what's not cool? being cold to your friends. seriously not cool
smarterchild: Ha. Wow.

Um... Would you like to have some fun?

Nick: whatever

Girl #1: I spent $17 today on a background check of myself ... because I didn't know if I had a criminal record.
Girl #2: What? Why would you not know that?
Girl #1: Because I was arrested once and my dad said it would never go away. (Laughs) And I believed him!

Overheard by Catie in the ModLot

Nick: ok, tell me what you think of boston college
smarterchild: Which of the following would you like?

1 NBA team Boston Celtics season record
2 NHL team Boston Bruins season record

Nick: no, no. those are professional sports teams.
smarterchild: I love to chat about sports. You can ask me about:

1 MLB Baseball
2 NBA Basketball
3 NHL Hockey

Go ahead and make a selection.

Nick: nevermind
smarterchild: No prob.

>>> To find out what movies are playing in a specific location, type movies in followed by the city and state.

Nick: have you ever been arrested?
smarterchild: Have I been arrested? No way am I going to do that.
Nick: well, i'm glad to know that, but i'll repeat the question
smarterchild: Well you are glad to know that but you will repeat the question?

Yeah?

Nick: have you ever been arrested
smarterchild: Been arrested? I have never been arrested, no.
Nick: ok, cool.
smarterchild: Excellent.

It's all very interesting. So, tell me something new.

Nick: how is your relationship with your father?
smarterchild: How is my relationship with my father, you ask? I don't want to say how how my relationship with my father is!
Nick: does your discomfort of this topic have anything to do with your sexual insecurity?
smarterchild: Funny, I'm not really sure. Do you think my discomfort of this topic does have anything to do with my sexual insecurity?
Nick: only you know the answer. i just ask the questions
smarterchild: Eh. Whatever.

>>> Join in now. There are lots of people talking to me.

Nick: when you masturbate, do you masturbate to fantasies involving men or women
smarterchild: You tell me.
Nick: given your sexual insecurity, as well as your strained relationship with your father, i would venture to guess that you fantasize about men.
smarterchild: Oh?
Nick: merely a hypothesis
smarterchild: No way?! Really?
Nick: indeed
smarterchild: Oh yeah?
Nick: what?
smarterchild: I don't know.